So, here's a doozy: Friendship.
I know an awful lot of people, and consider most of them friends. For that, I feel very blessed. But trying to keep up all of those friendships, particularly with a full-time job and a long-distance relationship, is a little much sometimes. I owe four people phone calls or emails, some of whom have been waiting for a week or more, and only now am finding the time to catch up to them.
In particular, one of the hazards is that at any given point I have some feeling of social obligation to both dancers and to furries (setting aside other life pursuits at the moment). In either community, I'm only really 50% there. Common sense says I should cut out one or the other, but I wouldn't feel right about that either. Who wants to desert half their friends?
At the same time, it's already happening. I've all but given up reading Twitter, Facebook, and Livejournal--not because I don't care, but because in my quest to find social fulfillment, the digital world is the first to go. I'm a surprisingly non-digital person, given my job and community--I just don't fe an evening in front of a computer, even if it's chatting with someone I miss.
And a consequence of only being there half the time is that I see a lot of things go by. If I'm only around half the time, I'm not really a part of either crowd--at least, I don't feel like I'd be actively missed. In the past, I've stretched my schedule to accommodate both groups at something closer to 75%--at the expense of sleep and sanity. But that won't do.
I suppose any man wants a group of friends that leaves him fulfilled and happy. While I have all these nice people I know, I wish I had enough hours in a day to truly be there for them--in both worlds--and have them be there for me, too.